GEEKTASTIC!Well Spidey's in his Black Costume for the third pic and you all know what that means....that's right his washing machine is broke! Looks like Topher Grace is Venom. There's a Q&A session over at ain't it cool news with a snitch who gives out details on the whole film. If any of it is true this movie will kick ass. Warning, if the Q&A is true and you like suprises stay the hell away from it.

The Upside of (St.) Anger

Yes, it’s true, Metallica is working with a GOOD producer this time. But the question is, will that stop Lars from crying and wetting his bed? (Courtesy of Trent at PITNB)

Steve Perry thinks people still care. He was the lead singer for, who? .38 Special or something?

Seriously people! 8 Below? (And no, it’s not about an underground sex club in Manhattan.) List of movies out now that I’d see before I went to see Eight Below:
Final Destination 3
Freedomland
Firewall
The Pink Panther
Date Movie
None of those movies are supposed to be even “sort-of” good. But all have much more potential than watching the guy from The Fast and the Furious cavort with dogs for two hours. This is a movie that should have been made in 1988 with one of the Corey’s. Or Chris Burke.

Jasper over at Webvomit has had some very quality posts the last couple of days.

Okay, all for now.

One Thing I Know for a Fact:
When you need to know the history of Mardi Gras, go to the History Channel. If you need to know the current state of mardi gras you need to check with PBS. The future of Mardi Gras? Well, that's right here.

LET THE INTERNET GET YOU LAID!

You can't argue with this. It's supposed to be funny, but the truth of this is so serious....Fuck man, just....FUCK!

More news later this is just to powerful on it's own. For now go here and buy a shirt.

"Mike Patton's Peeping Tom Is Out On Parole on May 30th, Will Continue Staring At You Lecherously

Just last week, former Guns 'N Roses guitarist Slash made like Stork and spilled the beans that Chinese Democracy, the long gestating follow-up to 1993's The Spaghetti Incident will finally be released next month. Also last week, Ipecac Records announced that it would finally release Mike Patton's seven-years-in-the-making solo project, Peeping Tom on May 30th of this year. To the untrained eye, these may seem like two completely unrelated news items, but they are, in fact, tied by a bind that dates all the way to 1992."


(entire article here)

UPDATE: Finally the Scott Stapp/Kid Rock sex tape that we've all been waiting for.

ONE THING I KNOW FOR A FACT:

On this day in 1933 the United States passed "The Blaine Act" effectively repealing prohibition. So, today, if you see someone named Blaine you are required by law to buy them a drink.

Here's a project for you: What should the label on her helmet say? Leave answers in the comments.

Wax Ecstatic

It’s that time of year again, folks. The time where you required by a billion dollar industry to pretend to actually love the one you’re with. Some people inevitably get left out in the cold and the only gift they get is a small box of candy from the HR department, and for them there is a special treat. And they can eat those while watching this testament to heterosexuality.

For the rest of us, we gotta figure out how to play this thing out without looking like chumps. So, here now is the Kung-Fu guaranteed movie guide to an awesome Valentines Day. (keep in mind this will probably work with or without a partner, so the whole world can enjoy. BUT if you are in a relationship, follow the guide CLOSELY or else you might get left out in the cold.)

1st Valentines together:
Okay, this is really special event so don’t blow it. Be elaborate, and take some time to set this one up. First you need to re-arrange the viewing area so the sofa or love seat provides a clear view of the screen. Then clean. Everything needs to be cleaned. Windows, floors, vacuum furniture, dust, everything (including the bathroom). Have several new candles set up on strategic side and coffee tables, and also a bouquet of flowers can’t hurt. Also, dress nice. Make this whole thing a big deal. Have wine and chocolate on hand. Then invite your date over for the movie (skip the dinner because that’s too much drama and they might be tired or aggravated by movie time).

MOVIE SELECTION: Edward Scissorhands
Everyone loves Johnny Depp. (also, Benny and Joon and Pirates of the Caribbean are quality choices)

2nd Valentines together:
Alright, now you’re in a groove. You guys kind of know each other, you don’t have to go all out, but you still want to kind of surprise your partner. So, go less all out, still have the candles and the wine. Clean the viewing area, but worry less about the bathroom and windows. Surprise them by having the option of chocolate or popcorn, or caramel corn. Or do all three.

MOVIE SELECTION: Bride of Re-Animator
Nothing says go time like re-animating corpses. Plus they might think you’re thinking big commitment because it might be about marriage.

3rd Valentines together:
Candles, popcorn and wine (always the wine). Mood matters a lot less now.

MOVIE SELECTION: The Omega Man
Charleton Heston, zombies and spears. Sounds like love to me.

4th Valentines together:
Pants off, popcorn, wine.

MOVIE SELECTION: The Shining
That’s love. That’s commitment. By your fourth Valentines Day together you should both understand that.

5th Valentines together:
Pop the damn movie in already.

MOVIE SELECTION: The Butt Boss
After that it should be all self explanatory.

Well, you should be able to figure it out from there. If you have some suggestions for alternate movie selections, feel free to comment.

Happy Valentines Day! Don’t get herpes!!

coming soon to a theater near you.


UPDATE:
Okay, courtesy of Ain't it Cool News - Will Farrel does the NASCAR funny.
I can't wait to see this movie. I might have to drag Mrs. Kung Fu out to see this.

Well, pretty much knew this was going to suck. Now you can see as to what level of suck it will be.

Set your, VCR/TIVO/DVR/DVDR/8 Track from 8pm-10pm Friday night folks. Cause this may be the last shot you have at catching arrested development on the boob tube. Thank god, hopefully more reality shows about wife swapping and being rich. Cleverness be damned.

DANCE EPIDEMIC In keeping up with this weeks theme, the Electric Six are totally tits! They got a sound I can only describe as "crack rock" cause they gotta be high to pull this off. Senor Smoke just landed this Tuesday, go get it and dance your ass off!

Yes, that is Scalett Johansson's nude body and exposed ass proudly displayed next to a nude Kiera Knightley. Which forces me to draw the following religious and philisophical conclusions:

1. There is a God.

2. He is clearly a man or a lesbian with great taste.

3. Today is officially "Now in more naked hollywood news" day here at PAO.

Thank you for your support.

PART DUEX

UPDATED!

Just as I'm walking out of a second viewing of the Matador (yep, it's that good) I spot a movie poster out of the corner of my eye. It's none other than Sharone Stone in an attempt at a seductive pose with those "wanna free ride" eyes looking right at you. I tap I AM KUNG FU on the shoulder and point it out to him. It's a one sheet for Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction. At this point people around us were hearing things like "HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA" and "That's fucking retarded" and "WHY?"

Granted I'd heard rumblings that this film maybe getting made yet was totally suprised to see that it did. Now's your chance to, not only view the movie poster, but view a really long R-rated trailer that pretty much sums up the whole film. If there hadn't been a first Basic Instinct, this would have been a fine sequel to Showgirls. Which will probably be coming out this sumer????

Not to give anything away but Sharone Stone is naked and doing girls and guys so, make sure your perv boss isn't around. Or if it will help get that 1.5 % raise you need invite he/she right on in. I can only image there are probably a lot of teenage boys thanking Ms. Stone for providing something free and of easy access to rub one out to. But, I'm sure she did this one for the art of it and not the money..........

This is the actual trailer that will be shown with FIREWALL.

This reminds me of the football game that was on yesterday.


HAPPY SUPER BOWL XL EVERYBODY!
Okay, now here's something really special. Taste the rainbow!

JUST GO AWAY ALREADY!When all else fails, meaning a new band and a solo project, just go back to what made you money in the first place, right??? Does anybody have Billy Corigan's email so I can let him know not to bother with the Pumpkins and go help New Order on another track.

By the way, if you want to see a good movie, other than the Chronicles of Narnia. Go see the Matador, it's fun for the whole fuckin' family!!!! Once again I call douchbagery on the Oscar people who have snubbed Brosnan!

This man is very funny. Take a Listen

Then buy the album.

Our response to the State of the Union Address Last Night

HAPPY FEBRUARY EVERYBODY!!

You know, I recently made a comment about the Bonnaroo hippie-jam bullshit festival, and this year they line up Radiohead, Beck and TOM PETTY. But I’m sure the hippies don’t care, as long as it’s not Slayer.

So, here in Detroit things are getting pretty hot and heavy regarding the stupor bowl. Our friend Jasper over at Webvomit lives right in the thick of this. He found an AWESOME way to spend time if you’re in town. February 3rd Zombie Walk. Get on it.

While you’re in town, check out abandoned buildings in the area. It’s apparently quite the hobby, considering there are many, many websites dedicated to it.

I’m not even going to link to this, I’m just going to put it out there:
TOOL PROMO TOUR
As it now stands, in a few weeks (mid-February) the members of the band (except for Adam) and their manager will be traveling to parts of Europe, England, Japan and Australia on a bit of a promo tour, meaning that they will be meeting with record company people and doing various interviews with the press in order to promote their new record and upcoming tours. Although any press releases are usually timed to coincide with the release of the record, there will undoubtedly be leaks, so those of you who scour the internet should be on the lookout around this time. As the others field questions and deal with promo issues abroad, Adam will remain in Los Angeles to direct the new Tool video.
Am I excited about the promo tour? Yes, because that means the album is actually on its way.

From Ipecac records:
2) I have the demos but when will Peeping Tom come out? How about May 30th! Finally, huh?