Reviews, Tidbits and Candy (the candy is not for you!)

Want to see 'A Scanner Darkly'? Really? You like dialogue that goes on and on and on and on? Well have fun with that. I'd rather be placed in front of two monitors showing the Paris Hilton video and the other oh let's say 'Derailed'. Add a dude in a hamster suit walking by every 15 minutes to punch me in the balls and life is a sweet, sweet bowl of steaming hooker urine.

It could be me, but the majority of director Richard Linklater's work makes me feel like I'm the sober guy at the party, being forced to listen to the ramblings of pipe heads who have been getting their load on since last Tuesday. With 'Darkly' I got that feeling 15 minutes in and it never, ever went away. Casting Keanu Reeves as the undercover narc who is often referred to as 'blank', oh how witty you are Mr. Linklater! Go fuck a rabid spider monkey.

Finding myself at the video store Friday evening covered in vomit (not my own of course), I stumbled onto 'Oldboy', a Korean revenge flick that definitely brought more to the dance than expected. Lately the Asian film market has broken from the sword fu branches to the disturbing psycho dramas. I thought 'Audition' was fucked up, but 'Oldboy' gave it a run for its money. Name the last American action flick you've seen that was violent, disturbing, oddly touching and best of all intelligent. Keep thinking on it, don't worry the neighbors will call the cops once the smell hits.

I need to go back to unforgiving outside, take in 'Strangers With Candy', shoplift and expose myself to a priest. Sundays, they take a lot out of you.