TONY SCOTT: Please fucking kill yourself. An open letter more than a film review.

So the staff of this fine piece of interinfo-maintainment (like that don't you?) took me out for eats and drinks in my undisclosed location. In a pre-drunken haze a movie was needed to avoid someone talking about feelings, sores on genitals or other things dudes should just not talk about. So close to the NHL play-offs us Midwestern boys get sensitive, it isn't a crime.

DOMINO was picked up. Yes the buzz I had heard was bad but we were DRINKING. Other reasons:

1) Keira Knightley
2) Keira Knightley with knives
3) Keira Knightley cocking a shotgun
4) Keira Knightley firing two AR-5 Assault rifles
5) Shots of Keira Knightley's ass
6) Shots of Keira Knightley's boobs

I sort of ramble, let's skip ahead

12) Mickey "don't call it a comeback" Rourke
13) Christopher "I'm my own cliche" Walken
14) Tom Waits in a crazy preacher cameo!!!!
15) Lucy Lui grilling Miss Knightley with that evil little tongue

The first 2/3rds of the film were a delightful mess, then with 30 minutes to go somewhere in the post production process some menstrual fluid hit the editing bay. People talked about feelings, tears fell and I switched from beer to whiskey.

So Mr. Scott I ask you why? Did Michael Bay shoot some of his creative (or lack there of) jism into your brain pan? It's called editing, you and your brother do it all the time, remember that?????

Also if you are putting Miss Knightley and Miss Lui in the same room together it better have black leather, whips or at the very least a wa-wa pedal.

Happy Easter and oh yeah....go fuck yourself!!!!