It's cold, I've gotten no play in over six weeks. I guess its posting time!

Hello world wide web and our vast readership of five (count 'em FIVE!).

I've dusted off my groin, plucked my brow and am drinking the finest whiskey Scobeyville, NJ has to offer which brings me to the reason I am here.

To honor the victims of Hurricane Katrina yours truly is giving up the hard booze (beer and wine don't count fuckers) for the Lent season. I hope to document the DTs in vast detail for your education and entertainment (watch the readership fucking soar to six!!!!).

To add some pre-show before my 40 day fast I have gone on a rot gut whiskey spree. Every week a new pint enters my home!

Let me review:

Royal Canadian Whisky (they leave the 'e' off, too costly):
For $3.85 the savings are passed on to nobody. Its a blend of syrup and burning, horrible, welcoming burning.

Canadian Club:
For $5.80 a damn fine basic bit of pain killer. Aged Six Years and it totally made me forget I licked that insurance guy's pee hole for a half chewed Whopper and some bus fare. To paraphrase Sinatra: Regrets, I've had a few/But at least/it wasn't this whiskey!

G & W Five Star American Blended Whiskey:
$6.12 for a fifth!!!!! I just sampled this wonder from the Bon Jovi state and have lost all feeling in my frontal lobe. A little tip, when the bottle states 72.5% Grain neutral Spirits, you are better off huffing paint.

Well off to dream of Roadhouse II starring Rick Moranis and Lance Henriksen (fingers crossed!). Return to your White Stripes album and MTV reality programming.