DO YOU THINK THEY'LL GET PRINCE FOR THE SOUNDTRACK???


The teaser for the DARK KNIGHT .


Also check out the Joker Semi. It's got a great slogan on the trailer!

All this thanks to America's arm pit shifting from down south to San Diego for nerdfest 2007, thanks nerds!

Your head asplodes.

Happy Birthday to me, sports suck.

Apparently as a birthday present for me, the Tour De France has gotten even lamer than usual. I really like cycling. Always have. It appeals to the masochist in me. Riding a bike up a huge ass mountain takes a great deal of skill and willpower. To then ride that same bike down that same mountain (these are the Alps, by the way. They are not small.) going over 45 mph next to 110 other freaks takes a whole lot of courage. The people that win the Tour are gods. Seriously, how do you bike 2300 miles in 20 days? Plus, it almost always finishes near my birthday. When Lace was kicking ass it was great to watch.

Unlike Lance we have some idiot whose own team kicks him off the race. How heavily do you have to dope for your own team to give up on you when you are in first place?!? However, I have to give the team a lot of credit. This is a gesture on the same level as if the San Diego Padres decided to drop Barry Bonds right now. So kudos to those guys for having balls. Sadly, Mr. Bonds will ruin any further interest I might have had left for baseball. Sorry guys, no one really cares anymore. Except I Am Kung-Fu. Sorry my man, you’re alone on this one.

Plus, Michael Vick, I know you are innocent until proven guilty, but fuck right off. Dog fighting is disgusting and horrifying. Try not to act like you’re in a DMX video and maybe try to represent your sport with dignity and class. You’ll probably go to jail because you couldn’t tell some of your entourage to stop killing pit bulls. What an ass.

Also, apparently David Beckham now plays “football” in America. Does anyone care? He’s all over sports illustrated and ESPN like herpes. Plus his wife gets some reality show. Look guys, this move failed in the 80s with a much cooler athlete than you. (Gretzky, your move to LA killed you inside and you know it) What makes you think it will work now? Is it because Janet Jones is such a huge star now? Don’t know who she is either? I thought so.

Hey, hey there good looking. How are you doing today?

I know i only mentioned it once and kind of left it out there hoping everyone would catch on, but the web-series finale of Clark and Michael hits teh webz tomorrow. Or tonight. Something. Anyhow, if you're a fan of Arrested Development and that level of humor, you will adore Clark and Michael. You will positively adopt them as one of your own, like a stray kitty or a little retarded boy lost in a mall. There are currently nine episodes on the website, and each one is 8-10 minutes long. So, while you're at work eating lunch, or instead of going to Gap.com, click on the Clark and Michael, catch up on 1-9 and wait with excitement for the very final episode, episode 10, to hit teh webz. I bet it's ten times funnier than the final Harry Potter book. I might stake my reputation on it.
Seriously, how do you say no to these two? And hey. You're welcome.

FUN FRIDAY FACT


Did you know the Lone Ranger is from Michigan?


I'm pretty sure Tonto's from Canada. Also wonder what Trendle would think of Bill Bonds?

Oh Dabney Coleman, you deserve so much better...

Poker "Brat" Phil Hellmuth to Appear on Surreal Life with Miss Cleo

Though VH1 has not made an official announcement on the air date and casting for Season 7 of the popular reality series featuring a group of "has beens", "have beens", "have really beens" and "still ares" (in the case of poker brat Phil Hellmuth), both Phil Hellmuth and Professional Wrestler Randy Savage have announced the casting.

"Macho Man" Randy Savage, Dabney Coleman, Nikki McKibbin, Miss Cleo, Carrot Top, and Phil Hellmuth are all slated to appear.

Hellmuth is known for his antics at the poker table. The UltimateBet crashed his car and crashed at the poker tables during this past week's World Series of Poker main event, all within a 24 hour period no less.

The interaction between Hellmuth and Miss Cleo? That alone will have us watching what she has in the cards for Phil.

You might remember Miss Cleo from her psychic network from a few years back.

And Randy Savage.....that should be a hoot for sure.

The Surreal Life season is expected to elevate UltimateBet to the next level with Hellmuth's participation, especially since the show airs constantly on the popular music television network. There has been some speculation that VH1 is also interested in airing poker-related celebrity type programs and this could be the start, especially if Hellmuth makes a positive impact on the Surreal Life.

---

Jordan Bach, Gambling911.com

Originally published July 16, 2007 5:36 pm ET

In other exciting news...

Corey Haim and Corey Feldman are back for reality tv fun. I swear to god 1. I am not making this up and 2. Feldman is the level headed one. No joke. Click if you don't believe.

What Really Happens to Child Stars

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Now that's how news should be done!

for part II and more go here http://www.michaelmoore.com/

Next summer I'd like to see Optimus Prime take on the U.S. health care system

"one shall stand, one shall fall"

I don't want mexican, i want NACHO'S!

So, i have a few quick things, nothing really worth a full post. Just some shit that amuses me.

Master P replaces Bill Clinton. If I knew that's how the order of Presidential Succession went I'd have been on board for a Bush impeachment long ago. I nominate Big Daddy Kane.

There but for the grace of god...

Upon further examination, the horse in question was not Ann Coulter.

I would personally consider it an honor if my high school friend used my name as their stage name in porno. So, what's the big deal?

And one final thing. Homeland Security Chief Michael Chertoff's gut feeling is that terrorists will attack us this summer. Based on what? Just his previously mentioned gut. And nothing else. We are barreling headlong into becoming a nation of cowards. This is what i don't understand. The true tool of terrorism is to create terror. To create fear. So, someone please tell me why we insist on doing terrorists jobs for them? Please. I don't care what your political views are. Have a spine. Act like it takes more than this pissant shit to scare the high holy bejesus out of us. Let's be a nation of adults. Please. And that's my little rant.

My take on Transformers

Do I agree with Armen? Sure, there are too many damn humans and not enough robot violence. Is there cheese? Oh yes, there is so much cheese I wish I brought Tostitos. Does that make this a bad movie? Not really.

It’s Michael Bay. Honestly, I expected much worse. The movie does exactly what it is suppose to do. Put butts in seats and keep them entertained. At no point in the movie was I bored or uninterested. It’s better than Bad Boys (either), Armageddon, or any other piece of crap this guy has shit out. A lot better. Honestly it’s the coolest summer movie I’ve seen yet (other than Knocked Up). It kicks the shit out of Pirates, and, sadly I have yet to see Spider-Man III. So, right now I’m a satisfied man.

Are there plot holes? Oh yes, there are more holes than a highway in Michigan. But the acting isn’t half bad. Shia LeBouf is great, and a pleasure to watch. Really, that’s the only actor in the film that matters. Well, other than Peter Cullen who returns to reprise his immortal role as Optimus (which he does well). There’s a few army guys, and there scenes are excellent action sequences, but we really don’t care about them all that much. Jon Voight collects a paycheck pretty well. There are a few terrible lines in the script, as well as wasted characters, or people that should have never been in the movie at all (sorry John Turturro but really what the hell were you doing here). But really, the script isn’t awful.

Could it have been smarter and cleverer? Sure, but that isn’t what people want. You don’t challenge someone with a summer movie. You make it for everyone, and honestly everyone isn’t very bright, as a whole. Very rarely do you please everyone all the time. Will a soccer mom, a 14 year old boy, a grandpa, and a 30 year old teacher be entertained? Yep. That’s really what counts in the end.

I thought it felt exactly like the cartoon. And that is a good thing. Funny, cheesy, and full of cool stuff blowing up. Armen complains there are not more robots killing each other in it. I agree. There in nothing I want in a summer movie more than massive robot violence (except killer dinosaurs, but they stopped making those movies a few years ago). If we would have had longer fight scenes the film would have probably cost 350 million dollars. That’s hard to convince a studio to do. I would imagine the conversation went like this:
“Guys, seriously, I just need 100 million for 15 more minutes of robot mayhem. Please? For a movie named Transformers, we need more transforming!”
“Sorry, we can’t give it to you. Why not film some crap about a government group in the Hoover dam?”
“Fine, but the next film is gonna have Unicron, and then you’ll be sorry.”

Overall, I approve. If you want excitement, good acting, lots of product placement, a really hot girl with a useless past subplot, break-dancing and peeing robots (although not at the same time that would have been much cooler than either scene), and well done action sequences that did the cartoon justice then see Transformers. Don’t expect perfection, or brains. But expect great looking robots and cool explosions. Right now, that’s enough to make me happy. Sure it could have been better, but it could have been a lot worse.

We'll be watching that catch for the next THIRTY YEARS!!!! Whoah!

Baseball. I've been a Detroit Tigers fan my whole life. I try to leave that part out of PAO because I think it doesn't really fit. As a Tigers fan, Rod Allen is the glass of water that i end up choking on, and then feeling embarrassed by. This time i'll let it all go. The Tiger's swept the Red Sox this weekend, and Curtis Granderson made one hell of a catch during the game. If you're even a casual fan of baseball, you'll appreciate the catch. If you're not, here's a bonus John Safran video, where-in he tries to sell the Mormon's on a movie idea called "X-treme Missionaries.". Either way, enjoy.



UPDATE: updated youtube clip. MLB has apparently pulled the previous one. Because they hate baseball and don't want you to know how awesome the game is.

Watch out Mitt Romney.

This guy's gunning for your people. WATCH! As John Safran gets fed up with mormon's bothering him early ass in the morning. Be AMAZED!! As he goes to Utah to preach atheism.

????
So much wrong with just this one picture.
Source.


If you're thinking "Maybe it won't be sooooooo bad, Jason Lee knows a lot of people through 'My Name is Earl'." I suggest you go to IMDB where you will find this movie is littered with actors whose biggest credit to date include 'waitress #3' and 'Beauty #4 from Beauty and the Geek'. Seriously. There's a contestant from Beauty and the Geek TV show in this movie. And if you're slapping your head note the following:
1. Much like Transformers, the original voice talent for the Chipmunks are back for the latest incarnation. Because i'm sure there would have been riots if they hadn't gotten them back.
2. Jason Lee probably did this movie to get his wife some work.
3. David Cross? Really? huh.

I think i smell a straight to video.

The Bloop: Ten Years After.

What most people don't know is that the U.S. Navy has microphones all over the oceans of the world. It's a cold war hold over designed to detect enemy submarines. They keep the microphones going these days becuase science is cool and who knows what you might find.

Well, in 1997 they detected "The Bloop." I won't go into too many details. You can read about it for yourself. Don't worry, it isn't too long. In a nutshell, the Bloop was a really low frequency sound these mics picked up. To this day no one has any idea what made this sound. It's organic in origin, or at least seems to in the same range, but based on time and frequency it would require a really big damn animal to make that noise. Much bigger than anything that is alive today. Like most weird things, it was quickly shelved and forgotten about.

Honestly, sounds resonate long, long distances in the ocean at a specific depth. It was probably a whale or even something inorganic, like a tectonic plate shifting. But deep in my heart I would like to belive it was something undiscovered and we might never know exactly what it was. Mystery makes being a science geek worth it. As a human I crave explanation and resolutions. That's just a natural need for closure. However, I will say a good mystery is better than a good solution any day.

So let us take this day and give thanks to the unresolved weird stuff in the world. Happy 10th anniversary, Bloop! May you continue to weird out audiologists forever more.

As a final note, the Bloop originated somewhere off the South American coast. It's computed coordinantes match very closely with the city of R'lyeth from H.P. Lovecraft's story, "The Call of Cthulhu." I'm not kidding.

WARNING!!!!

Do not be fooled by whatever good press you've been hearing about the Transfomers movie!!!
Do not let some retarded memory of your childhood fool you into checking out Transfomers!!!
Do not think, Michael Bay + Pretty cars + Robots + explosions = a fun summer movie called Transfomers!!!!

Cause it's not!

A majority of what can be found online from people who have seen this film have had very positive things to say about it. Considering most of them all spun it as "you've never seen anything like it before!" or "If you wanna see giant robots destroying shit this is the movie for you!!!"

WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!!

This is a comedy about humans and sure as shit you've seen it a hundred times before. Hell, most of the robots don't even show up till half way through the movie and when they do show up it's almost like sitting through an episode of the dated cartoon it's based on. I can't count how many times this thought popped into my brain....."I don't care about this human bullshit, where are the giant robots trashing shit????" Which is what this movie was sold as and really not what your getting. At least not until the end where even when the robots start fighting and blowing shit up that it shifts to "oh wait no look at how the humans are going to fight back."

Here is the most honest review I've seen of this film yet.

But kudos to you Michael Bay, you got me! I fell for it! Up until this point I'd done a spectacular job of avoiding your work. But you found a way didn't you! May you get a thousand paper cuts from sleeping on your bed made out of hundred dollar bills...............

Seriously shame on me for thinking I could trust the internet on this one. At this point I better go try to cash in on those inside stock tips in my spam box so I can get the male herbal enhancers that the ladies need to "feel it."