Hahahahahaha

CAN YOU READ?


Or understand Spanish? Well even if you can't you can still enjoy all the pretty pictures. Go check out Pan's Labyrinth. It's pretty damn sweet, Del Toro has got the golden movie touch for sure. He even made a Blade film fun to watch (and no, not the one with the girl from 7th Heaven).

It's playing somewhere near you. Or don't go see it like you didn't see the Fountain.....Wha???

No, sorry there's no dancing in it......well from the tv spots yeah, Stomp the Yard has dancing....

Yeah, ok you go do that. Make sure you go to an evening show and pay full price to. So they make a sequel, cause we totally need more of thatl.

NEW CLUTCH SINGLE.

You're welcome. Don't say i never gave you anything.

Today is Rutger Hauers 63rd birthday, and instead of just putting up an embarassing photo of the guy, or something cheesy, i thought we should take a moment and truly ponder the sexy beast that is the man named Rutger. What a rugged sounding, manly man name. Rutger. It sounds like a dirty sex act.
"Okay people, lets go from doggy to Rutger, and then back to sucking. And ACTION!".
Rutger Hauer has been in literally TONS of movies, including Nighthawks with Sylvester Stallone and Billy Dee Williams and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (movie version. dorks.)

Anyhow, as i was searching the YouTube for some choice scenes from the original "The Hitcher" in celebration of Rutgers birthday, I came across a video that highlights the more tender scene moments in Rutgers career.
I ask you now to celebrate with me, the tender moments of Rutger Hauer in honor of his 63rd birthday.
Enjoy.

Da Bears.

So, now that they're heading back, are we going to see them re-visit the famed "shuffle"? I want to see Brian Urlacher rapping and dancing. God please.



They can even rap/rock it circa 1998. I would find that even funnier.

There's a right way to do a "Top _______ List" and a wrong way.

The right way is to be so over the top it's hilarious, like this. (seriously, click the link to find out what sex act constitutes "The Rearing Unicorn" ) Or at least lists that are very dead on.

The wrong way? Maxim has the balls to make a top ten list of "One Man Armies". What's wrong with the list you ask? Well, let me ask YOU this:
How do you have a list of one man armies and not include THIS GUY??


I DARE you to justify that! But Agent Cody Banks makes it?!!? Incredible!!!! And they try to be witty and funny, but it's just lazy and wrong! Maxim, I submit that you were never a very good magazine, and with this you've just lost it completely. I find that your writing is poor and your chicks don't get nekkid, and therefore you are LAME and BORING.

And honestly, I don't have as much of a right to be pissed off as One Man Army. The rapper. One Man Army, you know, half of the rap duo Binary Star. If you have a list of best One Man Armies, how do you leave One Man Army out?
lamelamelame.

Here's a One Man Army tune for y'all.

Click here to listen to 'One-Man-Army---Anybody'

White People!

Click here to watch 'The-Ladies-Man-30'

An oldie but a goody. The Ladies Man on the Handsome Boy Modeling School album “White People”. You love it, you miss it. (It's at the very end of the track. Be PATIENT.)

Just a reminder, our friends at WebVomit and Got Detroit? are throwing a gig next week. If you have plans next week, you should change them to this. (Also, if you can spot Jasper without his famed disguises he’ll pay for your drinks for the rest of the night. He promised.)

Comic geeks of the world, what are your thoughts on the top 10 unfilmed comic book properties?


James Brown keeps it classy even in death.

Who's afraid of Scorpions on a plane? Wusses. Now, if it was THESE GUYS, i'd be downright terrified.

JUST ASK SNAKE EATER


"How do you avoid death when it's waiting for you just around the corner?"

K. Saunders, Wakita IL

K.

Having a twelve inch blade on had at all times doesn't hurt. What you have to truly watch out for are women, specifically hookers. You never know when it's gonna go down when your undercover. Even though it's your job to "give it to them" while waiting for the bust to go down, you gotta make sure there not on to you. Cause if they get the slightest wiff of "I can tell by the way he screws he's a cop" That's your ass getting shot off by a twelve gauge.




"Snake how's it hanging? my question is "Do shit stink?"

Darrin, Hillcrest, WI

Darrin

Little bit to the left, (lol).

Your clearly asking about my side kicks famous line from Snake Eater 2: The Drug Buster. Most forms of fickle matter do in fact omit a potent fowl oder. Let me tell you Darrin it's far worse coming from a slain hillbilly by my own bare hands. Over time it becomes more of a victory smell. Much like how for some drinking beer is an aquired taste."

"Hey Snake Eater, who would win in a fight? Chuck Norris or Lee Majors."

Al Biggins, Austin TX.

Al

Personally I've never had the honor to face either of these two warriors in a state of combat. Although, I've Witnessed them do battle in there respective shows. Namely, Walker Texas Ranger and the Six Million Dollar Man. So let's match them up accordingly. Norris dresses like a Cowboy and kicks a lot (and high). Majors has a red jogging suit and makes robotic like noises while jumping. Yet, Majors is half man and machine. Here's how this would go down. Walker beaten nearly within inches of his life by Steve Austins Bionic arm is able to convince Austin that his only foe is the machine parts within his self. Austin tries with all of his might to subdue his bionic counter parts but only triumphs with the aid of Walker Texas Ranger. So, I'd call it a draw, mainly because any other outcome would surly negate existance as we know it.

While on this topic I'd like to point out that a very special show is returning to our great airwaves.

For my comic book friends...

Whose the birthday boy who's appeared in Over the Top, Afterburn, and Scarface?

You guessed it: ROBERT LOGGIA!!!!


Happy 77th, you crazy cat!

P.A.O. did our usual New Years Eve thing this year, which of course consists of two of us getting completely naked and mudwrasslin' while the others urinate on us. You know, for fun.
Oh wait, that's Matt Damon in The Good Shepard. My bad.

Keep kickin' ass in odd seven y'all!