No Grimlock, No Show.

I've got the inside tip on the upcoming Transformers the Movie, y'all!! Yep, I was IM'ing with a cat who assured me he was indeed the real Michael Bay. Let me clue you in on some details from the upcoming movie!!!

1. Bumble Bee started out as a VW Beetle, but Xzibit, GAS and Pimp My Ride hooked him up and upgraded him into the 2008 Chevy Camaro that you'll see in the movie.

2. Star Scream will be played by Liza Minelli channeling Vincent Price.

3. The inspiration for Megatron's face comes from a horrendous case of gonorrhea that Michael Bay STILL suffers from.

4. Soundwave is made by Apple and therefore although he can record sound, due to the Apple specific DRM he will be unable to email the file to Megatron or anyone else, and whomever needs to hear whatever will have to be in the room with Soundwave.

5. Interestingly enough Optimus Prime 's flame decals are actually tattoo's he got one drunken night after he and Hot Rod (nee Rodimus Prime) danced the night away at Menjo's gay bar in Detroit. (THAT'S why they spent so much time here in the D).

6. Although Ironhide and Ratchet used to be essentially the same robot with different color schemes, they are now the Odd Couple and Michael Bay is using old takes of Jack Lemmon and Walter Matheau dialog and having Ralph Macchio and Danny DeVito re-read the lines. (Brilliant move, I say!)

7. Arcee? Tranny. Look closely, and you'll totally tell. Plus, in one scene s/he's shaving. His nutsack.

8. And finally, if they couldn't get Peter Cullen to do the voice of Optimus Prime, Burt Reyolds was Michael Bay's second choice.

Thanks for the insight Michael Bay!!!!

Here's my thing. If you really want to pay more than $2 to see this movie, or you don't want to wait for it to hit the internutz, and you HAVE to see it opening day, i say if you don't see a T-Rex Dinobot referring to himself as "Me" in every other sentence within the first ten minutes, i say walk out. It's just not going to be worth it.